A five-part communication reset.
- 1
Pause.
Give the first surge time to pass through without obeying it.
- 2
Name the purpose.
What should this conversation or message accomplish?
- 3
State the facts.
Use dates, actions, words, and records a neutral person can follow.
- 4
Set the boundary.
Say what is needed without turning the boundary into a threat.
- 5
Ask for or confirm the next step.
Make the requested action, owner, and timing clear.
Language you can adapt.
“I want to make sure I understand. Are you directing me to…?”
“I am not prepared to respond fully in this moment. I will follow up in writing.”
“For accuracy, I want to summarize what I heard.”
“I can discuss the work issue. I cannot continue while being spoken to that way.”
“My understanding is ___. Please correct anything inaccurate.”
Before, during, and after a hard meeting.
Before
Prepare the lane.
- One purpose.
- Three facts.
- One question.
- One person or resource to contact afterward.
During
Slow the meaning down.
- Ask for clarification.
- Take notes.
- Do not decide the whole meaning in the room.
After
Build a clear record.
- Write a factual recap.
- Preserve originals according to law and policy.
- Get advice if the stakes or deadline warrant it.
Tell the story like a good news anchor: calm enough that the facts can be heard, precise enough that another person can follow.